水靜流深(Still water, flows deep)

祂知道 (He Know)

謹以此短片送給


那些此刻需要祂, 那些暫時未需要祂, 並終有一天需要祂的人:

只需要像無助的小孩呼求祂的名: [噢, 耶穌基督。], 尤其當我們無從向祂說起的時候。

祂在聆聽。祂知道我們的內心, 並所有處境中的每個隱情。

祂遠在我們未出生之前已知道我們，祂是一位熱切聆聽我們的父親。

當我們願意單純地求告祂的名，祂便微笑俯聽。

讓我們如無助的小孩般求告:[ 噢, 耶穌基督。]

願藉此溫柔的呼求, 讓我們尋回那份初始而又溫柔的關係。

I would like to present this video to those who need Him now, to those who do not need Him at the moment, and to those who may need Him in the future:

Just call on His name like a helpless child: [Oh, Jesus Christ.] especially when we find no way of speaking to Him.

He is listening. He knows our hearts and every hidden emotion in all our situations.

He knew us long before we were born, and He is a Father who listens eagerly to us.

When we simply ask His name, He smile and listen.

Let us ask like a helpless child: [ Oh, Jesus Christ].

May this gentle cry bring us back to that original and tender relationship.

清晨歌: 一首茁自泥土的中國詩歌(The Morning Song: An Old Chinese Hymn Grown from the Soil)

    一生承教

    生命中總有些聲音光影在我們心中留痕，伴隨我們長大。有些僅僅勾起了我們對昔日的影像記憶，有些卻潤物無聲地教化了我們的一生。

    我曾在昔日的工作崗位上，為兒童選了一首70年代由Cat Steven所唱作的Morning has broken，作為早上聚會的前奏曲，其實在我心目中，卻一直另有一首更切合的歌，惟因那是一間沒宗教信仰的機構，便選了這首來自西方的優美晨歌替代。

     我心中的歌，便是由中國人所寫的古老詩歌: 清晨歌，這是一首我自六歲開始懂唱，但能牢記一生的詩歌，與此詩相繫於記憶中的，不光是童年的回憶，而是天天誦唱下深植於心靈的訓勉。

     現今的天主教聖堂，中文彌撒禮儀中不是唱源自意大利或拉丁文的傳統聖詩，便是本地人所作的廣東話詩歌；基督新教教派有不少已採用流行曲式撰寫詩歌，較傳統的教會則仍沿唱青年聖歌或普天頌讚歌集，當中有不少是充滿愛爾蘭民調特色，遠自十七，十八世紀的英國舊詩歌。

    可是，植根於中國大地，為生活艱苦的庶民頌讚上主而寫的詩歌，卻容易被遺忘了。有一定歲月的人們或仍可隨口說出上世紀三十年代的時代老歌，但經歷一定歲月，有基督信仰的嬰兒潮世代的人，對清晨歌或許已印象模糊，於XYZ世代來說，雖或不至聞所未聞，卻可能覺得那只是老舊不合現世的詩歌了，因為裡面描述的都是典型的農村景象，對城市化下長大的我們，清晨歌的意境遙不可及，而當中講述的人倫關係，彷彿只屬那煙遠年代的人們；中樂特色的曲調，在十分西化的香港，更是格格不入。

    我整個小學教育都是在堅尼地城的聖公會小學完成，隨著人口迅速膨脹，城市漸向島西擴移，整個西區都遍佈著厭惡性的城市後勤設施，在煤氣鼓，牛房豬場，雞鴨欄，菜市場，屠房及米倉躉船工廠環繞下，不少人口都是賴此為生，而校內的孩子，大都是來自這些窮家。

    這所面海新蓋在山坡上的基督教小學， 每天早會，數百個小學生擠站水洩不通的有蓋操場

裡，集會鈴聲過後，孩子們從操場各角落走到禮堂前方，按班別排隊站立在地下禮台前，我讀小一時，班級站立處多靠近禮台，故常可清楚看到穿著旗袍的老師，坐在那神聖而小孩不能亂碰的鋼琴前用心彈奏，樂聲響起，幾百個穿著白恤藍斜衭白布鞋的窮家小孩，捧著那本印有一雙祈禱的合掌的詩歌祈禱集，精神抖擞地合唱著這首全校金曲: [清晨歌]，每晨都響徹整個加惠民道。

茁自泥土

    清晨歌出自中國著名神學家趙紫宸於1931年所發表的作品，小時候對此一無所知，長大後每想起此曲，都只是因其深銘我心的美麗情感與教誨，對歌曲的背景不甚了了，直到近年，我才開始追尋此曲的沿起。歌詞是這樣的: 

清晨歌 

詞:趙紫宸(1888-1979)

曲:胡德愛

和: 范天祥

譯: 范天祥夫人

發表:1931年

清早起來看，紅日出東方；(Rise to greet the sun, reddening in the sky,)

雄壯像勇士，美好像新郎；(Warrior-like and strong, comely as a groom.)

天高鳥飛過，地闊野花香；(Birds pass high in flight, Fragrant flowers now bloom;)

促我勤工作，天父有恩光。(With the gracious light,  my toil resume.)

懇求聖天父，時刻靠耶穌；(Father, I implore, Safely keep this child,)

行為能良善，顏色會和溫；(Make my conduct good, Actions calm and mild)

虛心教小輩，克己敬年尊；(Venerating age, humbling teaching youth.)

常常勤服務，表明天父恩。(Always serving Thee, Sharing Thy rich Truth.)

但願今天好，時刻靠耶穌，(May this day be blest; Trusting Jesus' love.)

頭上青天在，心中惡念無；(My heart's freed from ill, Fair blue sky's above.)

樂得布衣暖，不嫌麥飯粗；(Glad for a cotton coat, Plain food satisfies;)

千千萬萬事，樣樣主幫扶。(All my countless needs, Thy kind hand supplies.)

     

茁自泥土

   我對清晨歌有一份莫名的情結，在詩歌集裡一眾長篇深奧的外國詩歌中，清晨歌的格調顯得清新顯淺，小孩能懂易明，我愛之尤甚於那首學校經常誦唱，源自英國聖公會的校歌。原因簡單不過，因為無論長幼，都有能力把握裡面的具體意象，歌詞押韻易記。雖然整個小學我只遇過一兩位慈愛關顧的老師，但我喜歡[清晨歌]裡面的一片欣欣向榮景象，對於昔日師生比例極不理想，體罰如家常便飯的學校生活，不愉快的印象會因此稍為抵銷，至今每憶起小學生活，在貧窮匱乏的生活中，在人山人海的學校孩子群中，清晨歌唱來總予我有一份幸福感，每想起小息時雖然經常走到遠遠角落中獨處，清晨歌百口齊唱時，仍讓我感到群處的親切。

    當年在校天天唸唱，歌詞中的字句很快便完全讀懂了，雖然從來沒有人為我們逐字逐句釋詞解義及唸讀，但隨著按年升班，同一首詩歌，隨著我們長大而添了不同層次的領受。

    此詩於我的魅力，除了對那[紅日出東方，雄壯像勇士，美好像新郎。]中呈現大自然壯麗的描述感到喜悅(後來更醒覺[新郎]的另義其實是指基督，趙紫宸巧妙地將之寫作暗喻)，還有對[天高鳥飛過，地闊野花香]遼闊田園大地的嚮往，稍長，我更愛[頭上青天在，心中惡念無。]的純潔境界，而且第二句的句式有異於平常接觸的課本句子，唱的時候份外讓我注意，還有當中惇樸積極的生活:[ 樂得布衣暖，不嫌麥飯粗。]，貧乏中感知足與激勵的活潑。作為小孩，[虛心教小輩，克己敬年尊。]雖較難體驗，但都知道是需要實踐的好訓勉，當年意義難懂，但詞句卻終身未忘。

以詩歌哺育生命的神學家

    趙紫宸在 [清晨歌]中所寫的詞，以靠天靠地的黃土庶民的刻苦生活作背景，以知足感恩，克己敬勤，凡事倚靠，凡事謝恩作主題，並以勞動仁愛推動充滿盼望的生活，而上世紀三十年代，正值民國政治紛亂，列強環伺，以農為務的千千萬萬黎民，從歲首到年終，一生默默辛勤，都僅能糊口。

    趙紫宸是二十世紀中國最優秀的神學家，大半生都身體力行，一生著作甚豐。他祖籍浙江省德清縣人，生於一個小商人的家，後因家道中落，曾隨父從商，十五歲時入讀蘇州的教會學校萃英書院，西方教育對他產生一定的影響。 之後考進監理會辦的東吳大學，一九零七年受洗成為基督徒，並於1914年赴美留學， 主修社會學及哲學， 1916及1917年相繼獲得社會學碩士及神道學學士學位。回國後歷任東吳大學及燕京大學，在宗教學院任教，兼教中文。趙紫宸曾在香港被聖公會按立為牧師。 趙子宸曾於日本侵華時期被囚半年後獲釋。抗戰後，趙子宸復職於燕大，1947年獲美國普林斯頓大學頒授榮譽神學博士學位。但在此後的多場政治運動中，趙紫宸遭囚，1979年11月，即是在獲釋放後的數個月，於北京病逝。

   

    趙紫宸的中文造詣極深，也是一位詩人，惟詩作在上世紀文革時多已銷毀。他主張中國人的教會應自立自足自養，不應全賴西方，亦應該有本土的詩歌。趙紫宸認為作詩歌應有數個原則，例如:

1. 聖詩必須是具體的，使會眾唱時能心口合一。
2. 要簡潔明瞭，淺白易懂，老少咸宜，雅俗共賞。
3. 含有中國民族性，融合國人的日常生活環境。
4. 基于聖經，能表達真誠的宗教經驗，並當讚美神。
5. 每一首詩應該是一篇講章。

 

從[清晨歌]走出來的人生

   細看清晨歌歌詞，正是以當年未有機會接受教育的庶民為對象，以農村大地為背景，敬重

[晨起理荒穢，戴月荷鋤歸]的辛勞，在匱乏生活中自尊自立，全心仰靠天父。趙紫宸正好體現了這些原則。故此美國衛理公會也將此曲的英文版納入其詩歌集內，這亦是唯一的一首，每逢有華人訪客到他們的教會，便會高唱此曲，以示友好歡迎。

    趙紫宸也許一直不曉得，在他經歷患難，以及被囚的歲月裡，南中國邊陲外的小島上，一群窮孩子年年月月每天早上都在唱他所寫的詩歌，而當中最少有一個窮孩子，無論遇禍遇福，一直鍾愛此曲到如今，並且光照了她的一生。

    清晨歌音樂短片:

http://www.hymncompanions.org/Mar/02/stream.php

The Morning Song: An Old Chinese Hymn Grown from the Soil

A Legacy of Life

    There are always sounds and imageries in our lives that remain in our minds as we grow up. Some of them evoke images of our past, and others teach us for the rest of our lives.

     In my former job, I chose a song for the children whom I served: Morning has Broken by Cat Steven from the 1970s, as a prelude to the morning assembly every day.

     The song I have in mind is an old poem written by a Chinese theologian, Zhao Zichen (1888-1979). The Morning Song, an ancient Chinese hymn which I have known since I was six years old. Till now I can remember it and in the rest of my life. This hymn reminds me of my difficult childhood and the exhortations deep in my heart when I recitals it every day.

     Many Protestant churches in Hong Kong have adopted popular hymns. In contrast, the more traditional churches still sing Youth Hymns or universal hymnals, many of which are Irish folk tunes from the 17th and 18th centuries.

     However, it is easy to forget the hymns written for the hard-pressed Chinese to praise the Lord. While people of a certain age may still be able to speak of old hymns from the 1930s, those of the Christian baby boomers may have a vague memory of early morning hymns. At the same time, they may not be unheard of by the X, Y, Z generation, they may feel that they are just old and out of date. The Chinese tunes are out of place in a very westernized Hong Kong.

     My primary education was at the S. K. H. (Church of England) Primary School in Kennedy Town. With the rapid expansion of population on Hong Kong Island, the city was spreading to the island west in the first twenty years after WWII. The whole western district filled with obnoxious urban back-up facilities, like the gas drums, cattle and pig farms, chicken and duck pens, vegetable markets, slaughterhouses and rice barging factories. Many of the population depended for their livelihood.

     Every morning, hundreds of pupils stood in the covered playground of this newly built Christian primary school, a seven-story building facing the seafront.

     After the assembly bell, the children walked from all corners of the playground to the assembly hall's front, when we sang "The Morning Song", our spirits soared up. The beautiful singing echoed on the hill. It became a School ritual that we hardly forget after leaving school. 

     As a little child, I didn't know much about this song. Whenever I thought of it as an adult, it was only because of the beautiful sentiments and teachings that it held in my heart. Still, I did not know much about the background of the song. The lyrics go like this:

The Morning Song 

Lyrics: Zhao Zichen (1888-1979)

Song: Hu De Ai

Harmony: Fan Tianxiang

Translated by: Mrs Fan Tianxiang

Published: 1931

 

Rise to greet the sun, reddening in the sky, early in the morning

Warrior-like and strong, comely as a groom.

Birds pass high in flight, Fragrant flowers now bloom;)

Urging me to work hard, the Father has a Gloria light. (With the Gloria light, my toil resume.)

 

Father, I implore, Safely keep this child,

Make my conduct right, Actions calm and mild.

I am venerating age, humbling teaching youth.

Always serve diligently to show the Father's kindness.

May God bless this day; Trusting Jesus' love.

 

My heart is free from evil, Fair blue sky above.

Glad for the cotton coat, Plain food satisfies;

Glad for the cotton coat, Plain food satisfies; 

All my countless needs, Thy kind hand supplies.

Grown from the Soil

     I have an inexplicable affinity for "Morning Song". Among the long and profound foreign poems in the hymnbook, this Chinese hymn's tone was simple and easy for children to understand. I love them even more than the Anglican School song that we sang in important events. Compare with "The Morning Song", the children of different ages understood the specific imagery and the rhyming lyrics were easy to remember. Although during my primary education, I only met one or two loving and caring teachers. I loved the happy scene described in the "Morning Song". It slightly alleviates the unpleasant impression of my school life in the past when the teacher-student ratio was extremely unsatisfactory, and corporal punishment was a common occurrence. I was very introvert. I always stayed in a far corner of the playground to avoid noise and be bumped into other children. Once we sang along with the piano melody of "Morning Song", I could feel that I was part of the group.

     Although no one ever explained the words and read them for us, as I moved up to the senior primary, this hymn revealed its divine meaning more in-depth.

     The charm of this hymn was in its vivid imagery: [red sun rising in the east, majestic as a warrior, beautiful as a bridegroom.] I later realized that the notion of "bridegroom" actually refers to Christ. Zhao Zichen cleverly wrote as a metaphor and the longing for the vast and idyllic land [ The birds fly in the high sky, the land is enormous and the wildflowers fragrant ].

     Later, when I was a bit older, I love the deep meaning of "The sky is above my head, but there are no evil thoughts in my heart." The second stanza's definition is different from the textbook stanzas that I usually come across. The simplicity and positivity of life in the stanza: "I am happy to be warm in cloth, I do not mind the wheat and rice coarseness".

     The simplicity and positivity of life also struck me: "I was happy to be warmed by cloth; I did not mind the coarseness of wheat and rice". As a child, the teachers used to teach us to be humble and respectful to people. Although it was rather abstract to a child, we all know that we need to practice the excellent conduct. Despite its profound meaning, I have never forgotten the lyrics.

     In the 1930s, the Republic of China was in political turmoil and under the Japanese invasion. Millions of peasants could make ends meet from the beginning of the year to the end of the year, having worked hard in silence all their lives.

Nurturing People with Poets

     Zhao Zichen was one of China's most outstanding theologians in the 20th century. They spent most of his life in the field and wrote extensively. He was born in Deqing County, Zhejiang Province, to a family of small businessmen. At the age of fifteen, he enrolled in Zuiying College, a church school in Suzhou, influenced by Western education. He was baptized as a Christian in 1907. He went to study in the United States in 1914, where he majored in sociology and philosophy and received a master's degree in sociology and a bachelor's degree in theology in 1916 and 1917. Upon his return to China, he taught at Soochow University and Yanjing University, where he taught Chinese and religious studies. Zhao Zichen was ordained as a priest in Hong Kong by the Anglican Church. He was released after being imprisoned for six months during the Japanese invasion of China. After the war, he resumed his studies at Yen University. He was awarded an honorary doctorate in theology by Princeton University in 1947. In November 1979, a few months after his release, he died in Beijing after a long illness.

     Zhao Zichen was an accomplished Chinese writer and poet. Still, many of his poems were destroyed during the Cultural Revolution in the last century. He advocated that the Chinese church should be self-sufficient and self-supporting, and should not rely entirely on the West, but should also have indigenous poetry. Zhao believes that there should be several principles for poetry, for example:

·   The hymns must be specific so that the congregation can sing them with one heart and one mouth.

·   They should be simple and straightforward, easy to understand, suitable for young and old alike, and appreciated by both the literati and the ordinary people.

·   It should be Chinese and blend in with the Chinese people's everyday environment, particular the peasants.

·   It should be based on the Bible, express a sincere religious experience, and praise God.

·   Each poem should be a sermon.

A Life from the Morning Song

     Let's take a closer look at the Morning Song's lyrics. We can find that it aimed at the ordinary people who did not have the opportunity to receive formal education in those days. It showed respect to hardships of the peasants. "Rising in the dawn, taking care of the field, returning home with a hoe in the moonlight, the self-respect, the self-reliance in a life of deprivation, and the wholehearted reliance on the Heavenly Father. Zhao Zichen exemplifies these principles. So the Methodist Church in the USA has included an English version of this song in its hymnbook. The only hymn that the congregation sing whenever Chinese visitors come to their church as a gesture of welcome.

     Zhao Zichen might not know that during the time of his suffering and imprisonment. On a small island off South China's border. A group of poor children sang his hymn with one mouth every morning on a small island off South China's edge. After many decades, one of those children never forgot this song in all her moments of troubles and blessings. It has shone throughout her whole life.

靠著那加給我力量的....(I can do all this through Him who gives me strength.)

         深宵，兒科病房中的危重病童獨立套間，昏黃的床頭燈光籠罩下，躺著氣喘得如急風暴雨的垂危小女孩，床邊佇立著憂傷的父母，還有俯視著孩子的年青神父黑色身影......。

這畫面像一幅暗沉調子的油畫，在死亡來臨的幽暗中，卻亮著一暈帶來希望的柔和亮光，映照著正在生命邊沿上掙扎的一張驚惶臉孔，高䠷的神父俯首湊近小女孩，輕握著她因喘氣得死去活來而顫抖的小手。

[圓圓。]，神父俯首輕聲叫喚，即將墮下生命邊沿的女孩將給病抑騰得腫脹的圓臉微微轉向神父，眼神本被痛苦折騰得散渙，含淌著豆大淚珠的眼睛，驀地應聲放出亮光，這把聲音強烈地觸動了她，從劇烈的喘氣聲中定過神來，神父一直握著女孩軟癱的手腕，繼續呼喚她的名字，圓圓本來只能看到光影的眼睛，凝定在神父的臉上，似乎認出這把柔和又特別的聲音，是她的拯救。

在病床旁一直咇咇作響的維生指標顯示屏，本來一直高企在160多下的心跳數字，正奇異地有節有序的降，小女孩如同風暴似的急喘，竟放緩下來，心跳回到90多了，雖然還不算是正常，但數天下來，無時無刻令人驚心動魄的急喘，在神父一個溫柔的呼喚，一個充滿精神力量的握手，竟戲劇性地平定下來，讓人想起耶穌叫止驚濤駭浪一樣。

漸漸放鬆的呼吸，讓小女孩開始有氣力聚焦仰望，可以凝視著正專注俯看著她的一張秀逸臉龐，本來凝聚在她眼角的淚珠，慢慢地淌了下來，像蒙受了安慰。

憂傷的父母和我這位代母，分立在孩子床前的兩側，目睹這奇妙的一幕，大家多天來因愛莫能助而高懸的心，得到了緩解。

神父開始為圓圓不徐不疾，莊嚴卻又情切地誦念施洗的經文，並為她行灑水禮，慣常愛聽祈禱及詩歌的圓圓，目光一直沒從神父的臉上挪開，施洗時的輕微水點，灑在她給高燒燙得通紅的臉蛋上，圓圓迎向這點點清涼，滿臉期待，彷彿天主能讓她明白，這光景，對才十二歲的她何等重要，她的一生，就是為了能成為天主女兒的這一刻。

神父長長的黑衣身影，並沒因病房的昏暗而隱沒，雖有視障，但圓圓很有意識地望著神父，神父在她的額上傅油，金澄澄的油瓶子打開，一陣清新的松香瞬間在小病房裡散發，嗅覺仍保存得很好的圓圓，眼睛突綻光采，這香氣好像把她低沉衰微的小靈魂喚醒，神父一直在柔聲誦念經文，圓圓懂事地以專注與平靜下來的心呼應著，她小時候患了腦癱而導致視障，四肢癱瘓與不能言語，但卻善用她的聽覺與心靈去感知這個世界。而神父，同樣毫無隔閡地打破了圓圓的障礙，感應了這特殊孩子的心靈。

傅油後，神父微笑著向圓圓說，聽說你很喜歡聽Ave Maria(聖母頌)，我來給你唱一首特別的版本。神父牽著圓圓的小手，用拉丁文唱著唱著, 圓圓凝望著神父，在維生指示儀的輕微聲響中，在昏黃的床燈籠罩下的神父與圓圓的側影，我看到了天主就在中間。憂傷的父母止住了眼淚，焦慮的臉容放開了，我也如釋重負。

最後，神父對圓圓說:[你現在是天主的女兒，你叫Maria, 這是天主與你相認的名字。] ；我的眼淚掉了下來，自上年我轉到天主教會後，有一次給圓圓聽舒伯特的Ave Maria, 不意平日慣聽輕快兒歌的圓圓，竟如獲天籟，屏息靜氣地專注望著聲源，神情莊嚴地聽畢全曲。我跟她唸聖母經，她軟軟的小手常會伸出來回應。如今神父給她聖名Maria，不正是天主的上好安排嗎?

寒意仍濃的深宵，我伴神父到醫院停車場一程，路上，我問神父可曾為沒有言語表達的重障小孩施洗及臨終傅油，神父微笑著說:[沒有。] ，我十分驚訝，一個從沒見過圓圓，也未有機會接觸過重障孩子的神父，在一個天主快將召回的被人遺忘的小生命身上，行了這麼神聖的一件事，讓平常人看來是白走一場的脆弱生命，得到最重要的返回天家印記，那地上特別勞苦方式，並沒有白白承受。

站在深宵的街頭，我看著並仍無倦態的神父鑽進黑色的車子，慢慢地駛進暗夜裡，我知道，數小時後，他又會在教堂主持清晨的彌撒。

五天後的早晨，圓圓終在我們的詩歌與祈禱陪伴下返回天家，我們一直在她的耳邊鼓勵，告訴她將何往，我們又快可重聚，不一會，她安然離去，息了她在地上獨特的勞苦方式。

[世人工作攢錢，圓圓卻用其僅有的能力，以維持她的生命，每天盡力呼吸奮鬥，相比其他人的生命，圓圓教許多普通人更值得我們欽佩。]

在圓圓的安息彌撒上，神父扼要地說了一番話。

[生命不靠形體上的一切，而在乎有否堅毅、勤奮與善用生命。地上並非永久的家鄉，無論任何形體，生命那怕短暫，重要是充充份份的活出來，盡了一生的責任。]

[圓圓的生命雖看來辛苦，實與世人的勞苦無異，只是形式不一而已。她心靈誠實地生活，相比世人所爭逐的，圓圓的精神，卻可永存。]

墳場的小教堂裡，圍坐在圓圓靈柩兩旁的父母及人們，都泛著淚光，屏息靜氣地聆聽著這位與圓圓只有一面之緣，卻能一語道破生命奧蹟的神父，我望著圓圓的小棺木，心中一邊訝異: 為何神父能夠說出如此獨到的一番話，他沒有長篇大論，更沒慷慨陳詞，滿臉平靜，卻字字鏗鏘，安慰了尚存於世上的我們。

當穿著白色祭披的神父領著圓圓的棺木緩緩步出小教堂的時候，我跟在後面，往火葬場的路上，心中無比安然，我彷彿看見，他正把圓圓那多天來給插喉導致滿佈瘀痕的小手，一步一步的往前，交給前來相迎的天使。

           當刻，我向天主祈求:[ 願袮的旨意，在這位神父身上成就，他沒法經歷所有人的人生，但卻有蒙恩的職份，藉此走進人們的生命，靠著祢加給他的力量，他便能明白那無法言語的人，觸摸那平常人不願意觸摸的癱瘓的手，並且義無反顧地無時無刻，都可以出現在病患艱困的人當中，讓人們知道，一無所有的特殊小孩，天主自有眷顧。天主，是祢，藉著這些特別願意守潔獻身為祢所使用的人，在地上成就袮的國和義，阿們。]

   

孤單的獵者(The Heart is a Lonely Hunter)

    十八歲那年，一個週六的深宵，在明珠台看到一部公映於1968年的美國電影，叫 "The Heart is a Lonely Hunter"(港譯「天涯何處覓知心」)，男主角阿雅倫阿堅憑當年此片獲奧斯卡最坐佳男主角金像獎。 我獨個兒在漆黑的房間中看著那閃動著藍光的黑白屏幕，每個畫面，都寫進我的心裡。這部電影的訊息，也走進了我此後大半生的經歷。

  電影改編自1940年美國一位年輕女作家Carson McCullers於23歲時第一部發表的同名小說，"The Heart is a Lonely Hunter." (備註1)一題源自蘇格蘭詩人Willia Sharp, 他以一個女性的筆名所發表的一首詩，其中兩句是: Here in the heart of summer, sweet is life to me still. But my heart is a lonely hunter that hunts on a lonely hill。

   電影透過Carson所描述的一個嚴重聽障男人與一位輕度智障者的純真友誼，以溫柔敦厚的抒情故事方式，帶出上世紀六十年代美國社會的種種不公現象: 殘疾，貧富，種族，罪犯等等，處處不平之中同時突顯人間處處有情，而飾演聽障並只能用手語表達的Alan Arkin是主軸，全片沒發過一言，卻以一份於所有人脈脈有情的眼神，默默安慰別人，而自己卻從來未有人嘗試去明白他，他原不孤單，但最終卻陷落了深深的憂鬱，這電影深深觸動我心至今(備註: 電影片段在此文之後)。

  從那時開始，我意識到普世人類雖有種族，長幼，智愚，性別等等之分，工業革命後的社會的分層分類更形複雜，然而以人類核心需要，實只得一類: 同歷深刻的[孤獨]，而且與生俱來，這[孤獨]，源於人類不能獨自解決。人活著，無論弱健與否，必需以心，而心之所在，需要另外一些人以心相待，這就是[愛]，那是所有科學都不能解釋與分析，也未能提供的一種似虛卻實的人間至寶。

  同處但不同心，算不上是[同在]，沒有愛，或不能愛，便會孤獨。 同心而未能同處，在不同時空裡，若能彼此繫念，便不孤獨。

  不能同心，欲愛無從，或尋愛無門，是普世之象，也是人際紛爭之禍源。 說到底，人類深層的渴求始是心靈連繫(spiritual connection)，繼是心意相通(heart to heart)。

  惟人類與生俱來，都患上同一種基因病，叫[自我]，基因病變帶來種種病態，例如無止境渴求被認同，被注意，被重視，被抬舉....，又或在被輕視與被排拒之間衍生恨與情感扭曲。

 我們也常常只看到別人有[病]，忽視或忘記自己也有[病]，同[病]卻未能相憐，彼此異化，至於誰才是真正[病入膏肓]，推
來攘去，縱使心中有愛，卻又錯發與誤收，此正是人間糾結所在，故此孤單與愛是打打罵罵，糾結不解的雙生兒。

   離開一段關係，表面是眼不見為淨，實情是希望離開同處但失聯(disconnect)之苦，惟六親眷屬的關係難斷捨離；那份[孤單]，彷如長期疾病，慢性蠶蝕身心，一段人倫關係的萎縮，可以同時蔓延影響至其他人際關係，甚至自我價值(self worth)的萎縮。

    孤單尋索，不無價值，在於深刻地省悟了人類需獨處而不能獨存，個體的心靈若能省察，並能將之滋養為與他人心靈相繫的重要田土，此乃一生的功課，可是，我們在[愛]這門功課上，常常都是學習遲緩者(slower learner)，而這份功課，不在乎合格與畢業與否，而在乎畢生有否覺醒與致力。

    故此，回應上主的國[在地若天]的宣告，不在乎亮麗成績，沒有榮譽學位頒發，也沒有不勞而獲之僥倖。只需明辨在祂的恩典之下，每一個[病]人的心靈深處，與生俱來，早已同時給賜藏了一帖解藥，人皆具之，及時尋索，盡早服用，也要幫助別人服用，彼此便可醫治，治癒與否，存乎恩典。

 此[藥]雖無有效限期，且越服越有，源源不絕，只是生命卻有限期。

   故此，得時不得時，最終只能各自負責。畢竟，我們本毋需做孤單的獵者。

(備註) 電影片段: The Heart is a Lonely Hunter(1968)

請開閱

The Heart is a Lonely Hunter

    At 18, late one Saturday night, I saw an American film called "The Heart is a Lonely Hunter" on TV.  Alan Atkin, the main actor, won the Oscar Award for this movie. I was alone in the room watching the TV screen with the flashing blue light, and every image was written in my heart. The message of this film has become part of my experiences for most of my life.

    The film was edited based on the first novel of the same name by a young American female writer, Carson McCullers, published in 1940 at 23, "The Heart is a Lonely Hunter".  Her novel's title was adapted from the Scottish poet Willia Sharp.  He wrote a poem under the pseudonym of a woman in which two lines read: Here in the heart of summer, sweet is life to me still. But my heart is a lonely hunter that hunts on a lonely hill." 

   In Carson McCuller's novel, she told a story about a man named"Mr Singer, " who had a severe hearing impairment and friendship with a man with intellectual disability. She brought out the injustices issues of American society in the 1960s with these two characters.  In her book, Alan Atkin played a  hearing-impaired man's role and could only express himself in sign language. The film's main character in which he was called "Mr Singer".  didn't utter a word in the movie. Still, he empathised with those he knew by showing his understanding with his eyes, while no one ever tried to understand him.

   I was much touched by this movie.  Every character in this movie represented a social role in the American Society in the years of 60.  I have realised that although human beings are always divided into race, age, intelligence, gender and so on, society's stratification after the industrial revolution is even more complicated. However, there is only one core human need: the profound "loneliness" that we all experience and are born with. This "loneliness" comes from the fact that human beings cannot solve it alone.  To live, whether with a disability or not, one always has a heart yearning for love, and where that heart is, one needs other people to share the same wish. This is what we called "love", which all science cannot explain or analyse. Though it seems intangible,  it can be felt among human beings, so important that just like water and air for our survival.

    Being together but not sharing feelings is not a real sense of "together".  Without a capability to love or feel loved or unable to love, one will be lonely. If we share the same emotional needs, even we are separated from each other in time and space, we are not alone.

     The inability to share, the lack of a way to love, or the lack of a way to feel loved, is a universal phenomenon and a source of interpersonal strife.  In the end, the deepest longing of human beings begins with spiritual connection and continues with a heart to heart. 

    We are all born with the same genetic defect called "ego". The genetic disorder brings various pathologies, such as an endless desire to be recognised, noticed, valued and lifted up, or the hatred and emotional distortions that arise between being belittled and rejected.

    We often see that others are "sick", but ignore or forget that we are "sick" too, and fail to pity each other.  Very often, our love is misdirected and misrepresented. This is where human beings' tangle lies so that loneliness and love are twins that fight and scold with each other.  They are inextricably entangled.

   Walking out from a relationship allows us to let someone out of our sight and out of our mind.  Our wish is to free ourselves from the pain of disconnection with someone very close to us.  "Loneliness" is like a chronic disease that erodes our bodies and minds. The atrophy of a human relationship can spread to other relationships, and even a devalue of self-worth.

    Our search for solitude has its own value in the profound realisation that we need to be alone, but not to exist on our own.  It is a lifelong challenge.  Even though we are always slow to learn how to love, keeping ourselves awake and committed during this long journey is essential. 

    

    Therefore,  the proclamation of the kingdom of God "on earth as in heaven" is not about getting a good grade or an honorary degree in this learning process. It is also not about the luck of getting something without making efforts. It is our recognition of His grace.  There is an antidote already offered for every [sick] person deep in our souls. Although this [medicine] has no expiration date, and the more you take it, the more you will have it, and it will not cease to supply.  But we should note the fact that there is an expiration date on our life. We need to treasure our time on the earth, to make efforts to accomplish this task.

   So, in the end, each of us is responsible for what we did. After all, it is our choice to be or not to be a lonely hunter of heart.

   (Remarks) Film clip: The Heart is a Lonely Hunter (1968)

醒來(Wake up)

    聽著，聽著，一生中的愛來恨去，怨消怒散，欲息嗔滅，就像浮游於遼闊飄渺的太虛中，在柔光中，在輕風掠過中，在身如羽化的拂繞間，意識漸澄，心無所住，心無所往，心門敞開，遍心通明，如同已在天上。

https://youtu.be/Buv-TqS7McY

作词：釋隆奇
作曲：李杰

童聲：王家寶

How far from birth to death, is in the length of our breath
How far from confusion to consonance, when comes a sudden chance
How far from love to hate, you can't anticipate
How far from then or now, when laughter spreads somehow
How far from you and me, forgiveness only
How far from heart to heart, the sky to the earth

從生到死有多遠，呼吸之間。 

從迷到悟有多遠，一念之間。 

從愛到恨有多遠，無常之間。 

從古到今有多遠，笑談之間。 

從你到我有多遠，善解之間。 

從心到心有多遠，天地之間。

當歡場變成荒台
當新歡笑着舊爱
當記憶飄落塵埃
當一切是不可得的空白
人生是多麼無常的醒來
人生是無常的醒來
人生是無常的醒來